So Megan had been in Europe for a few months and wanted nothing more on her birthday than some “good” American food. So, we took the easy way out and headed to the Hard Rock Café, to be followed by a bus tour of Rome at night. There we met an American who would alter our night drastically.
He entertained us with stories of being in the American and Italian armies (yeah, we thought the same thing). He convinced us to ditch our bus tour and let him show us around, he’d even buy us drinks afterward. We figured if he tried anything, the three of us could take him, no problem. We accepted his offer.
We left the Hard Rock with our new found “friend” for our tour of Rome. Yeah, about that…we get outside and it’s pouring rain—so much for that idea. I recall not traveling too far, but we did hit up a street filled w/some beautiful words—Gucci, Prada, Versace…we saw the Spanish Steps, I’m sure there was a fountain involved. Then we headed to the bars.
The rest of this evening is based off of broken memories. I remember going into the first bar, looking at the bartender, then he made me a drink and after I took it, I pointed to our new friend and said that he was paying for everything. Once we all had drinks in hand, we headed through the bar to room in the back and grabbed the first empty table. I don’t know why our how, but all of a sudden the cute bartender comes back, grabs Theresa and drags her to the bar. Next thing you know, she’s flat on her back on the bar and the bartender is doing a body shot off of her—more priceless than a Master Card commercial.
No idea how many drinks we had before we left, but we went to another bar. We didn’t think it was possible to top the first bar, but oh boy, we did. After we entered the 2nd bar, we got drinks and found a table. It started out as the 4 of us, but soon we had a couple Hondurans, a Nigerian, rotating Austrian brothers and some girl from Jersey. Soon we were paired off: Megan and the American guy, Theresa and the Nigerian and I with one of the Hondurans. We argued to no end about stupid things, like how many continents there were (I say 7, in Honduras, they only have 5!) We were having a blast. The Austrian brothers were on holiday and the only English they spoke were showtunes, so they sang them on request and did some dancing to boot.
The night progressed w/Megan hooking up w/the American. I was making out w/the Honduran between our arguments and Theresa disappeared w/the Nigerian. Megan and I went on a mission to find her, which we did. Out of respect for her, won’t say where. Hehehehe…..:-)
Bartime came around and we went to grab a cab to get back to our hotel. I said good bye to the Hondurans and hopped in a cab. Megan and Theresa got in the backseat by me and the American hopped in the front. Theresa’s Nigerian tried to hop in, but the cabbie wouldn’t let him, so it was bye-bye Nigeria.
We got to the hotel and the American paid for the very expensive cab ride then came up to the room with us. We had a 6am flight to catch back to Germany, so sleep was going to be at a minimum. We had separate beds and the American decided to share Megan’s. The lights weren’t off for 5 minutes when Theresa decided the American had to leave. She got out of bed, grabbed the guy by the collar and shoved him out the door. Megan got really upset and I just laid there and laughed my ass off. Megan ran to the balcony to convince the guy to come back, but he opted to leave. Megan felt bad that he paid for EVERYTHING and got nothing in return. I was too drunk to care at that moment. Megan finally came back to bed and I called the front desk to give us a wake up call in 45 minutes and to have a cab take us to the airport.
Our night in Rome was over, but I was pretty sure the drinks were going to last me a couple days.
Moral of the story: If Theresa’s not getting laid, no one’s getting laid.